gaaaaay | (no subject)

(no subject)

When Nico goes on stage to perform, she has two goals in mind: to shine as bright as she can, and to bring the biggest smiles to people's faces. It's been that way since she was a kid, when her only stage was the living room floor and the audience consisted of no one but her mother, and it hasn't changed one bit.

Until she met Akiha, anyway.

To Nico, the mere fact anyone could look down on idols is unthinkable -- and worse yet, even as she got to know Akiha, that opinion of hers has barely budged. If she could, at least, just write her off as some ignorant moron spewing pointless nonsense, that would've been one thing. But something about that girl caught her interest, and she found herself running into her again and again, until they've come to form an off sort of friendship. Until Nico's come to respect-- even like her.

Akiha's not stupid. She's capable, mature, and effortlessly elegant, a lot of things Nico would like for herself. Not that she'd admit it, because god knows she's bigheaded enough as it is -- but she can't just write Akiha off. She can't ignore it. The thought is a tireless drill at the back of her head, even when they're talking about anything but.

To have her insistently cling on to that baseless disapproval feels, by this point, like a personal insult.

So today, Nico's decided to prove herself. Her school's holding a fair, open to all, and u's will be performing. It took every form of badgering Nico has in her arsenal, from aggressive demands to guilt trips to puppydog eyes, but she successfully convinced Akiha to come. This time, beyond a doubt, she'll make her understand.

The school auditorium might not hold the flare of some of their previous venues in Akiba, but it does offer one significant privilege: peace of mind. They don't have to go up against other groups, they don't have to worry about the weather, and they've been allotted an entire half-hour, making this their longest concert to date. This gives them the chance to perform in their units of three on top of their usual group songs, and Nico's even the center in one.

And she's going to show Akiha exactly what she's worth.

"Nicocchi, you're spacing out." Backstage, Nozomi flicks her forehead, causing her shoulders to twitch. "Don't tell me Super Idol Nico-chan's getting nervous now, of all times?"

"Don't be stupid," she snipes back, flipping a twintail before reaching for her water bottle and gulping down a mouthful. It's cool, and helps sharpen her focus. She grins up at Nozomi. "What's a show like this compared to Love Live?"

"Heh, that's what I like to hear!"

--

Nico doesn't let herself fixate on Akiha. Her eyes skim the crowd for her between songs, and once she's found her, she shoots her the occasional glance from the corner of her eye. But she doesn't let it serve as a distraction, and she definitely doesn't let it hinder her from putting on the best show she can. She sings and dances her heart out -- all nine of them do, just like always -- and the audience cheers and yells and squeals, calling out their names.

It's only after the last song is over and the crowd's begun to disperse that she marches over to Akiha, grabbing hold of her wrist and tugging her towards the backstage with only "come with" to serve as greeting.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nico's face brightens disproportionately, and her voice jumps up in pitch as it's prone to do: "Don't be absurd! Nico-nii belongs to e-very-one! Teehee!" She holds out a hand in her signature pose for all of one second, then drops it and flips back to normal. "Nah."

Akiha knows she shouldn't, but she can't resist.

"Everyone except men, apparently," she adds, the smirk in her voice pretty audible. It isn't a snipe though, more along the lines of teasing.

"I'd imagine it would be hard to ask someone out, even if you were interested. Them reacting badly would be an issue, wouldn't it?"

Nico suitably answers that witticism by sticking out her tongue. It's a little reassuring, though, that Akiha's comfortable enough to joke about it.

"Yeah, there's stuff like that, I guess. It could get troublesome." She shrugs, as if those things have only barely crossed her mind before. "But it's true that idols aren't supposed to date, you know. For me to consider breaking that rule, it's gotta be someone seriously special."

"It's not as if you're a professional idol. It's just a hobby, isn't it?" Akiha asks - it's more a rhetorical question, though. Those sorts of concerns are part of the reason she's kept her own questions about her sexuality buried deep. It would be too much trouble. Something might happen if she tried to explore it. As the heir of the Tohno family, even a small rumor would ruin her.

"Who would meet those standards, anyway?" Akiha pauses as soon as the words leave her mouth.

"Besides celebrities." Because she's certain Nico would drop everything to date an idol, but that isn't going to happen.

"It's not 'just a hobby'," Nico snaps back, perhaps harsher than strictly necessary. She folds her arms over her chest, one corner of her mouth twisted down. "We might just be school idols now, but I fully intend on making this a stepping stone towards a real career as an idol, and I work every bit as hard as if I were one. So to me, right now, there's no difference."

With Akiha properly scolded, she lets the matter go. Her arms loosen from around her chest with a sigh. "You wanna know?"

Before, she really would have dismissed that as just a childish fantasy - but after seeing her on stage, she really does believe Nico has the determintation to seriously try at it. Whether or not she'll succeed is another story, and whether or not it's even a good idea is up for debate, but she has to respect Nico's resolve. She doesn't argue back, just takes it in, nods, and lets it go as well.

"Yes, if you don't mind telling me. I'm hardly interested in gossip, but I'm..." Figuring this out. Trying to learn by example.

She doesn't want to say those things, so she just lets it trail off.

Geez, you suck at building up anticipation, don't you? With a dissatisfied hum, Nico takes half a step around Akiha, so that she's standing fully in front of her. Then she leans up to look right into her face, drawing out every word with the drama of one very long drumroll: "Do you really, reeaally wanna know?"

Why was Nico being so - Nico about this? Okay, that question answers itself. She supposes the better one would be why does Nico seem to be interested in this line of questioning?

Maybe she just likes talking about herself and her feelings, or there's something she wants to get off her chest. In both cases, though, wouldn't she be pushing forward with this without any input from Akiha? Instead she's dragging it out.

"Yazawa, I already said I do," Akiha sighs, as the point sails over her head and embeds itself in a nearby building.

Nico rolls her eyes, though it's more amused than exasperated. That's Akiha for you, all right. Nico, however, remains undeterred -- even if the other girl refuses to show any real curiosity, she figures drawing it out will at least serve to irritate her, which is honestly good enough for her.

"Well, you see," Nico drawls in a lazy sing-song, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. "Nico's type iiiis," she stretches up on her tiptoes, until their noses are mere inches apart--

"Cacti," she plainly announces, and manages to retain a straight face for all of two seconds before stumbling back with a howl of laughter, like she just told the greatest joke in the history of the universe.

Akiha actually leaned in as Nico did. Akiha was, at her heart, something of a coward - she could rant at her brother all day, give her classmates an earful whenever she wanted, but when it came to just being herself, she always sidestepped it.

So having Nico be the one to make a move? She leaned in and accepted it, fully prepared to go along with whatever Nico wanted.

-- Which is why she nearly falls flat on her face when Nico pulls away, blinking at her. There's a sense of genuine hurt in her eyes, one she quickly covers by putting her hands on her hips and rolling her eyes.

"If you didn't want to answer, you should have just said so," she snaps, stomping forward as if she wants to just walk past the last twenty minutes or so.

The vulnerability in Akiha's features flashes by unnoticed, and Nico only takes it as yet another of those huffy reactions she's come to know so well. She skips along after her unfazed, hands clasped behind her back. "That's the answer you get for asking so indifferently! Maybe if you're a little more eager next time, I'll tell you properly!"

Why can't Nico see that she was asking eagerly? For how much she tries to act like an adorable idol, she can be incredibly cruel. Akiha's silent for a moment as they walk, then turns to look back at Nico over her shoulder.

"Just drop it, Yazawa. I'm sorry I ever asked," she murmurs, arms stiff at her side, like she's forcing herself to keep them there. She doesn't sound nearly as confident as she did five seconds ago. She turns around and, ridiculously, brings a hand up to her face to check for tears, hoping Nico doesn't catch the motion. So many bizarre feelings are piling up right now, even though she hasn't cried since she was a little girl - what is she supposed to be feeling?

She at least isn't crying, she realizes. Thank goodness. She takes a breath and tries to keep herself going. This isn't Nico's fault. She doesn't know what's going on in Akiha's head, because Akiha's never told her.

"... So you don't need to worry about it," she decides on saying, mostly just to try and fill the air.

As the cloud of self-satisfaction begins to disperse, Nico realizes something is off. Akiha isn't acting frustrated or sulky -- she's just... weirdly quiet, and not really looking at her. Nico blinks at her neck, frowning. Huh? It's just a stupid joke, there's no reason it should piss her off that much... were they having a moment, or something? Was Akiha into it more than she'd realized? Did Nico cut short their special maidens' love life heart-to-heart?

She hastens her next couple of steps to walk by Akiha's side, then lightly nudges her elbow with her own.

"... Hey, I was just teasing."

Akiha, ridiculously, nudges back - it's a bit like she's rejecting the motion, but since she's brushing up against Nico anyway, it comes off as a weird moment of friendship.

"I know," Akiha sighs. "I think you and I were approaching that conversation very differently," she admits, slowing down to make it easier for Nico to keep pace.

"... There are things that I have been - unsure - about. Along the lines of your inclinations." There was that word again. Inclinations. Using coded language made it easier to admit her own feelings, she supposed.

"When you said what you did about waiting to be attracted to men, I found it understandable. Something I could relate to. Please don't take that as anything concrete, but..." But it meant she wanted to know more about how Nico felt.

And of course, the fact that it was Nico also helped.

"Huh?" Nico repeats, out loud this time, as she stares at Akiha blank-faced. If she were to take a moment to pick apart her roundabout, needlessly long-winded word salad, why, it almost sounds like...

"Akiha, you like girls?"

She was making delicious word salad precisely to avoid that reaction. Akiha glances around wildly, then leans in and makes a shushing notion, shaking her head.

"Yazawa, we don't need everyone for five prefectures to know!" Akiha urges, then pauses as she realizes that was something like an admittance of guilt. 'Guilt.' Akiha has some issues.

"-- Rather, we don't need them to know that I am unsure about that. It's complicated."

Nico would feel bad for not keeping her voice in check, but right now she's far too caught up in this revelation to pay it any heed. In fact, her voice only seems to climb higher. "Are you serious?! Couldn't you have said that to start off with, instead of 'oh, I don't know, I never even saw it on TV'?!"

Her cheeks are flushed, hands balled up at her sides -- it doesn't occur to her she might be reacting just a bit more dramatically than is called for.

If they're having an argument, Akiha's more than willing to yell back - it's almost liberating. She puts her hands on her hips and looks away from Nico, more yelling at the ground than at her.

"Oh, I'm very sorry for having difficulty with this! If only I had as few responsibilities as you, maybe I could just embrace it! But my family is looking for any excuse to tear power away from me, and I..." Just as quickly as it came, the anger fades. Akiha slumps slightly.

"... And we shouldn't be arguing about this in public."

Nico bristles at that accusation, and when she inhales she seems to stretch a good couple inches taller -- but she shrinks back into herself when Akiha does, and her teeth-baring scowl eases into a frown of concern.

She has no idea where this conversation is going, if it's even something she should want to pursue -- but it definitely doesn't feel right, leaving it like this.

Nico stuffs her hands into the pockets of her skirt, her voice dropping to a grumble. "You wanna go somewhere, then?"

Frankly, she'd prefer the scowl to the concern. Anger is something she's used to from Nico - they've had plenty of arguments, albeit about far less important things. Seeing her worried for her, as a friend, makes her uncomfortable. Makes her realize how their relationship is shifting.

"Anywhere private would be fine. If you don't mind putting off our shopping for tomorrow, would you like to visit my home? The invitation to dinner still stands. We have plenty of spare bedrooms, you could even spend the night."

Nico bites the inside of her cheek, considering their options. While Akiha's undoubtedly enormous mansion could be exciting to visit sometime, that time being now doesn't sit quite right with her anymore. If she were in Akiha's place, at least, Nico knows she'd be wary.

"I don't mind, but... you sure that's a good idea? Wouldn't want any of your servants overhearing, right?"

(Akiha may have only mentioned one by name, but Nico wouldn't be surprised if there was a whole platoon.)

"I only have two, they can be told to leave us alone," Akiha reassures her. "... And I know this might be hard for you to understand, but they're only a year or so older than me, and they've lived with us since I was a child. They're as close as family."

Not that she'd want them overhearing. Especially Kohaku, who'd never let her hear the end of it.

It's true that she's wary about inviting Nico over, but at the same time, she's excited. Just being able to sit down and talk to Nico, in a place she feels comfortable in - it's what they need to get over this awkward gap, she feels.

Maybe she'd even admit everything to Nico, while she's dreaming. She leans on one foot, then the other, her perfect posture giving in to her awkwardness.

"I promise. My home is for myself and those I trust."

Well, Akiha's not wrong that the concept is a weird one to entertain -- that's not how maids work normally, is it? -- but Nico's not going to start questioning that now. They have bigger things to talk about.

She nods her head. "Then let's go."

Falling in line behind Akiha, Nico lets her lead the way in uncharacteristic silence. This... sure turned out a lot more than she bargained for when she agreed to spend the afternoon with Akiha. Her heart's beating kind of fast, and she's not sure if it's from excitement or nerves -- either way, it's managed to disperse every string of idle chatter she'd kept floating around in her head. What is she supposed to say now?

Oh... actually, she can think of one thing.

"... Sorry for yelling," she mumbles.

"I yelled back. We're both at fault," Akiha mumbles back. That palpable awkwardness is back, isn't it. On some level, she almost regrets asking Nico out to begin with, but on a different level she's thrilled. She's going to actually talk about this with Nico. She's even managed to corral her into her home.

The Tohno mansion isn't too far of a walk from Nico's school, surprisingly. They make the walk in silence that at least tries to be comfortable, and as they round a corner Akiha's home can be seen in the distance.

Even from a distance, it's a ridiculous building. Flanked by forest on all sides, with gates that go on for miles. Four stories tall, and with a basement. Greenhouses and auxiliary buildings dot the landscape around it. There's enough space for a small army - if Maki's family is well-off, it's clear that Akiha's is obnoxiously rich.

Akiha, of course, is used to the excess, but she glances over at Nico as they approach. "... Before you ask, it really is only myself, my brother, and my two servants living here," she says, trying to clear the air.

Nico just stands there, eyes wide as dinner plates, mouth hanging open. Are you kidding me?! I thought Maki's house was too much, what the hell is this? If you have this much room to spare, do society a favor and start an orphanage or something!!

But of course she's not going to say any of that. What, does she want to look desperate?

"Th-th-this much is nothing! Once Nico's become a top idol, my house will be three times this big, okay?!"

... Yeah, that's not convincing anybody, but she wouldn't let herself give any other response. Let her have this, Akiha.